10.24.2013

The one where I couldn't think of a title.

Well this has been a funny week.  Well, a funny month really.  I haven't been able to find my inner drive, my oomph, if you will.  Do you ever go through times where you just feel a bit lost?  Not literally, {because you know where you live} but just lost in life--in your goals or in what's important to you.  And they're good goals, worthy goals, but you just don't have enough time in the day.  And you have so many projects you wanna do and you start things, don't finish and then life sort of just piles up on you?  And at the end of the day you look around and wonder, "What on Earth did I accomplish today?"  I've been in that rut lately.

I'm not complaining here, I'm just sending my thoughts into cyberspace, in hopes that my reflections will help me cope with the fact that I've been a little off my game and maybe I can jump back on the bandwagon.  Maybe baby, we'll see.

There is this little spot close to our house where the road passes over a little bridge and if you look as you pass, you catch a glimpse of the trees lining the river bend.  If you drive by too fast or if you blink, you might miss it.  I always try to catch a glimpse of it as I drive by because, as cheesy as it sounds, it takes my breath away every single time.  It's pretty all year round, but especially at this time of year as the leaves change colors and everything is brilliant and autumny.  
So today, I stopped in the middle of the road and took a picture of it....and promptly caused a traffic jam.

And then I tried to calm the mass of people behind me, who were giving me a, "Hey lady, what are you doing stopped in the middle of the road with your cell phone?" look with a sheepish smile and wave that said, "Sorry, don't worry.  Everything's fine....I'm just making you late to wherever you are in a hurry to get to so that I can get a picture of this breathtaking spot that I love because I'm just realizing how blessed I am to live in this beautiful place."

#iamawesome

I kept thinking about that on the drive home. How often I figuratively "drive-by" beautiful "spots" or stages in my life just to get where I need to go, or to hurry to the next stage in life.  Thinking about this made me take stock and notice all of the things that have made my life beautiful lately.  Not to make myself seem extra blessed or anything, but just to recognize that life really is beautiful no matter what.

Madelyn fell last week and had to get stitches.  She's officially my first "stitch baby" so naturally I overreacted and the whole thing was traumatic.  {Especially considering the fact that the only "stitching" I was planning to do that day was on my sewing machine.  Go figure.} 

The little doll's been a little trooper, albeit a bit fussy.  But she's been giving extra snuggles.  so I won't say anything else against her.  
And suddenly, I'm looking at Lila and Ezra and I'm realizing how big and old they are getting.  I'm sure a mother with actual grown children is laughing at me, but you know when your kids just start acting like little humans instead of babies. It's weird, but I love it and I wouldn't trade these minions for anything. 
The other day, I gave the kids ice cream cones on the front porch and Ezra plopped down on a pumpkin and started yelling at trucks going by.  It was hilarious to hear him, "Hey! Hey toooowuck!"  Such a boy.
Anyway, after I got home from my little "epiphany drive" today, I stopped everything and decided to focus on my kids.  Because out of all the things that I could be doing, trying to be a good mom should rank pretty high on my priority list.  And sometimes I forget that.  I guess driving by that lovely spot made me see that some of the most beautiful "places" in my life are these little people who call me "mom."  My identity is locked around them.  And while I sat playing with my kids and eating cucumbers {or "wooo-cumbers" as Ezra was calling them}, I felt my sense of direction come back to me and I felt at peace about not getting everything "done."  Life for me is happiest when I do what I feel like God wants me to do.  

So, I'm glad we had this little chat.  I feel much better.  Thanks for reading if you got through it and if not, I understand and you are forgiven.  Now let's see if I can get something sewn for KCW.....the race is on!    

2 comments:

  1. Beautiful. I feel like motherhood really is a mix between run to keep up and then taking a moment to enjoy. Neither is bad just takes the two to survive. I am glad that Heavenly Father gives us Fall to slow down after all the activity of summer.

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  2. So true! By the way, I forgot to send you an email, but if you guys ever do come our way, I'd love to meet ya....just be forewarned that I am WAY awkward in person. :)

    ReplyDelete

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