11.19.2013

Get through THIS if you can.....

I have no real good way to start this post up.  So I'm just gonna get this out there.  I am spent and in a jumble.  I love my life, I am absolutely happy and I have nothing to complain about.  

Some things are just getting to be a little crazy and a little too much.  My focus has been errrrrrverywhere but where it needs to be and I've been re-evaluating and shifting and just trying to figure out where to spend my time and energy.  

I've been thinking about this blog.  It's a funny thing--blogging. The friends you meet "virtually", how "real" it all starts to feel.  How special I feel when someone comments, how "cool" I feel if I'm featured, or how much my thoughts are consumed with making things, writing, creating, and sharing.  Then it all just starts to feel like that's all I think about and it's just too much.  

I'm probably making no sense to anyone but myself, but every time I feel like this, I have to go back and remember why I started blogging.  The truth is--I just felt like I needed to.  That's it.  But I've learned to  really love it.  I enjoy writing random stories about whats going on in my life.  I love the feeling of accomplishment in documenting what I'm making and what I'm doing.  

But one of the things I struggled with when I started that hasn't seemed to go away is the definition or "type" of blog this is.  Ya know--what to acutally blog about.  I still have a hard time pin pointing what exactly I do here or what makes me different than any other blogger. I just want to share a bit of myself.  The trouble is, I'm not particularly talented.  {Not in a downer way, just a lezjusbehonestway}  I don't have the sewing prowess to make fantastic tutorials, and I take fuzzy pictures with a nice camera.  I am not really great at decorating, I don't have the patience to be an excellent cook and I don't want to spend all my money on the latest fashion.  {And come on, let's be real, who would really wanna see me modeling clothes?  Maybe as a joke.  :)} 

My inability to pinpoint any one true talent makes this blog a smshorgashborg of stuff.   SO when people ask me what the point of this blog is or what it's about, I'm kinda just like, "ummmmm...I'm not really sure."

So I think this has made me jump around a lot.  And if I really scrutinize the blog, I know that I've been making "stuff" for the sake of getting it up here so that this blog doesn't look pathetic with 4 posts total.  {It's funny because "readers" and "followers" aren't the reason I do this. That's probably obvious--so much of what I share is embarrassingly silly.} But really, it's not as fun to post for someone else, so I want to be more true to myself.

Maybe the only thing that makes me different is that I don't mind being completely honest as I share the ridiculousness in me {the awkward, the silly, the frustrated}.  I guess I don't mind being laughed at.  Superman knows and understands me so completely that who I am when I'm with him and who I am trying to become because of him really defines "me."  SO that's all I have to offer and that's what I want to share.

What's the point of all this?  I'm going to stop making things just to get it on the blog.  I won't post as many "tutorials" or ideas unless it's worth it and unless it helps define who I am and who my family is.  I don't wanna post just to post, ya know?  Because at the end of the day {and at the beginning of the day, 24 hours a day} I'm a wife and a mother. I have three beautiful children who love me and who want all of my attention--not half.  And really, that's fine because that's the stage we're in and I'm more than ok with that.

So don't worry, you probably won't even notice a difference around here except {hopefully} improved quality. :)  Also, I think I've made it sound like I think my blog rules the universe.  As if.  In the grand scheme of things, I realize that what I do here is just a little pebble in a sea of bigger, better ripples.  And I don't mind that.  I just want to be true to myself and my little family in the process because that's all that really matters.  And if you enjoy reading about us and what we do here, awesome.  If not, I totally understand--don't feel obligated.  :)

So thanks for reading if you did and don't worry if you didn't.  It's just a spew of words and a random picture of Lila {because I love her and I couldn't let this post be purely picture-less} anyway.  :)  
Have a great day!

1 comment:

  1. I totally agree with you. I don't have trouble defining my blog (definitely a crafting blog), but what you said about your focus being all over the place and not being really good at one thing--I feel that, too. Maybe if I did just one thing (just sewing, or just photography, just any one thing) I could get really good at it, but I don't want to give up anything, you know?

    And I agree that it's hard to give my Mommy and Wife jobs the time they deserve AND still keep up with a blog. I've recently decided not to stress about it, though: the blog gets third priority, and that's all there is to it. I've never been one to write posts just for the sake of posts, but I've always wished I could get more posts up.

    ...And I'm writing a blog post in response to your blog post. Sorry. I just really agree with what you're saying.

    ReplyDelete

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