9.21.2016

All that glitters

Mori Dress (modified) // bodice fabric // skirt fabric (similar)
4 years ago, this girl was in my belly. What a weird sentence to type, but I'm feeling nostalgic so let's go with it and take a walk down memory lane. 
We'd just moved to a new town only 20 miles away from our old town, but man it felt farther. I was so terribly lonely. Jonathon traveled for work back then and he was gone almost the entire month of September. So I tried to navigate that little town and figure out something to do with my large belly + two kids. 
And then, on a brisk October day, came Madelyn. She was beautiful, perfect, and exactly what I'd always pictured what a little baby girl should look like. Then came the storm. A dark, heavy cloud that I'd never felt before. Granted, Madelyn was a little fussy and she didn't believe in sleep. Plus my hormones are always a little out of wack for a week or 2 after my other babies, but this time, I was just so sad. I felt so stretched thin with 3 kids. I didn't have enough hands. I didn't understand what was wrong with me. I felt like a horrible person. I had a beautiful baby, wonderful children, a kind, hard-working husband. What was wrong with me??? It wasn't until December and I was flipping out about something as small as where the star should go on the tree, that I realized something was wrong. This wasn't normal. Facing postpartum depression was tough, but thankfully, I worked though it and that sad, heaviness moved away. And I haven't ever had anything happen to me like that again. I mean, it's not like I don't have down days, but I've never felt that very heavy darkness on me for that long.  It was so real and although I don't pretend to understand what people with long term depression go through, I empathize.  That has to be so tough.  
After I went through it, I felt a renewed sense of love for my babies.  Especially Madelyn.  She's always given me a bit of a run for me money, but I like to think that she'll be worth it. 
 Everywhere Madelyn goes, she shines. When I thought up this dress hack, I knew it would make a perfect dress for Madelyn and for the current projectrunandplay challenge. Never mind that it's too short. I swear I measured. Sigh. It will make a perfect tunic.  :)


 
Hard times do pass. And sometimes, you get a perfect little curly haired angel in the bargain.

4 comments:

  1. I loved reading your post, and what a beautiful dress too!

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  2. Lovely dress and lovely post. Thanks for sharing! Having 3 kids was the biggest adjustment for me too.

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  3. So sweet! She looks like a fairy in that dress!

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  4. I wish I had been there for you more in those dark days! I love your perspective and positive outlook. Such a great post.

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