A different drummer

 

All pictures by the talented Toni Englestead Photography

I had so many grand plans for this blog in the beginning. I mean so many. And not just for sewing. I mean everything in general. Of course, back then, I assumed that blogging would be easy. I think I didn't understand that blogging was work. That's probably a common misconception. I was all, "Start a blog. Become cool." without realizing that you have to have a niche and their is a significant amount of hard work that goes into all the things. Professional quality photos, reaching out to sponsors, and for heavens sake, Bethany, you can't ramble on and on for paragraphs at a time. Get to the pooooiiiiint. ;) None of this ever felt like me. I honed in on sewing and writing because that's where my interests were for the moment. Over time, my interests have varied, I gave up on the random mustache obsession (because why did I ever start?) and trying to come up with recipes (I die all the cringiest deaths when I see old food pictures) but I've kept up with the sewing and the writing because I'm not really sure why? I just felt like I needed to. With sewing, I think I just needed to make and create. The idea of themes and taking pictures of something I made for my kids was so fun to me. The writing was just my way of processing and figuring out all my feeeeelings. And sometimes what I wrote made people laugh and that was nice too. But it's funny, my blog hasn't really "taken off" like I thought it would. It has taken me in different directions, helped me cross paths with people I never would have known otherwise, and I've found that I'm completely happy with that. Plus looking back, I'm so thankful for the little memories of my kids, frozen in picture form. Because life has gone fast for me as a mother and I try so hard to hang onto and enjoy all the little moments before they're gone. At least, that's what all the little old ladies at the grocery store tell me to do.

But.

I've always had a constant nagging in the back of my head. Making me question. Making me wonder why the devil I'm sharing all of this bologna and putting in any time at all if it's not going to be noticed. "Nobody cares." That little voice says. "You're not good at this." And you know what? That's probably true. But it wasn't until recently, when I was reading Walden by Henry David Thoreau. I know right? Who does that? But I dunno, it looked interesting, I guess. You know you're getting old when Thoreau intrigues you. ;) But that reclusive fella sure knew his potatoes. I mean, listen to this amazing nonsense: 

"If a man loses pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away."

I'm telling you, those words hit me like a ton of bricks (in a good way, not in the rib cracking way). It's like ol' Henry D. T. and I were having a moment. And I realized, "Oh my goodness. I don't care. If other people are working hard and succeeding, awesome! But Imma do me." 

So all that to say...well, nothing really. I'm just gonna keep doing what I do. I like to make. I like to write. That won't change. If anything, I'm going to be your worst unorganized blogging nightmare and keep sharing more. More of my life, more of my family, and more of what makes us happy. Because the truth is, whether people read my words in 2017 is irrelevant. If you read something you like. Good. I really am so glad. If you don't, I'll keep doing it anyway. I don't think Thoreau cared that some wanna-be-writer, mother of six, would be inspired by his words 200 years later, so by cracky, neither do I. I'll  just be here dancing to the beat of my own music. I fully acknowledge that I don't know what I am doing. :)